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There is a famous courtroom story we love to tell and it feels painfully appropriate right now.
Here it is:
In a small-town trial, a Southern prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She replied, “Why, yes, I know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and you talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot, but you don’t have the brains to realize you’ll never amount to more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She calmly replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was young too. He’s lazy, arrogant and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention, he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly fainted.
The judge quietly called both lawyers to the bench and said in a low voice, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll have you both sent to the electric chair.”
That unfortunately is similar to what what happened at Ayo Fayose’s 60th birthday party. Baba Obasanjo said it all and said too much. Ahhh…
TO CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO
Baba, with all the respect that your office, age and legacy command, that party speech should not have gone the way it went.
When you are a respected guest at an event and the host has spent emotional and political capital to bring you there, the honourable thing is to sheath your sword and hold your tongue.
Even the masters of power warned us:
48 Laws of Power, Law 4: “Always say less than necessary.”
Lao Tzu: “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”
Proverbs: “A wise elder spares his words.”
Sir, when Aliko Dangote took the trouble (and it was a lot of trouble), to fly you into the country JUST to honour an associate’s birthday, the moment called for grace, not grenades. Oh yes…
At your age, Baba, you are supposed to be putting the house together, not scattering the blocks and reminding us who bought the cement.
Nigeriand are tired. The reaonable ones amongst us are tired of all the drama going on around us. From Ned Nwoko and Regina, to Omoge Saida to Wike and Yerima, weve seen too many statements landing like a thunderbolt.
And somehow, let truth be told, people will think twice before inviting you to their events. It’s not because we don’t like you, we do. And it’s not because we don’t respect you; we do But if we imagine what yo would come and say about us or our friends, we would rhink twice. Nobody wants to be reminded that they are not an omoluabi at their own party.
TO AYO FAYOSE
Osoko, let’s be honest: you too, your past ‘sins’ are somehow catching up with you.
There are some bridges you don’t burn even in politics. And if you’re crossing them when your opponent is holding the microphone in front of your friends and frenemies, wahala may happen.
Why were you so desperate to have Baba at your party when you knew the wounds between you two had not yet healed? Was it really about reconciliation?
I remember that people whispered back then about an old matter involving a woman both of you allegedly had between you passing stories across the lines. I think I saw that woman in your Docklands house in London back then and it wasn’t long after that that you fell apart with Baba and that story started going round.
Because even if that matter is even half-true, then this wasn’t politics. It was personal. And personal wounds do not disappear because of a birthday party.
And if it is remotely true that you sent that thank-you letter to Baba after the public embarrassment, then Osoko, you did not behave like a good boy at all.
A man should not send that type of ‘thank-you’ nite to someone like Baba. You have opened another woundi and he won’t forgive you again…
At 65, peace should be your priority. Not public warfare.
AND TO BOTH OF YOU
Nigeria has had enough drama in the last few weeks to last an entire year. We are mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.
We do not need more fights, more tension, more scattered tables, more old grudges wearing fresh agbada.
What we need now is sanity.
And restraint.
And decency.
And maaturity.
And peace.
If our elders cannot model it, who will?
Let this be the last of such spectacles, I beg.
Adeola Agoro is the daughter of Baba Obasanjo’s former political opponent and a journalist known to Ayo Fayose
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